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Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Herpes During The Holidays

I remember my first Christmas with herpes in 2011. At that point I had been living with herpes for ten months. I was home on winter break from college and my family had no idea what I was going through. There was a moment where I had a small bag on my dresser with a bunch of personal stuff including my herpes medication. I rushed into my bedroom and accidentally knocked the bag over. I totally forgot the pills were in there until two seconds later my mom was picking up the bag and the bottle of pills that fell out and said "What's this?". I was thankful my mom couldn't see fine print without her glasses and I dashed across the room to grab the bag and pills out of her hand. I lied and told her it's just something I got from the health center at school because I wasn't feeling well.

Although, I knew my mom couldn't really see what was on the bottle, I couldn't help but be gripped by fear. What if she was able to make out the name of the medicine in that split second? What if she would then go and ask the nurses at her job what that type of pill that is? I was so scared. I was already holding this secret and now I had the fear of possibly getting found out. It was rough. The holidays were suppose to be a time of happiness and closeness with family, but I couldn't have felt farther away from each. Although, I stopped praying to God, I was still crying and the Lord heard the sound of my tears. I had no idea that a week and a day later on January 2, 2012 in the wee hours of the morning, God was going to show up in my bedroom and tell me the one thing I desired my whole life: You ARE LOVED. The fear I had about my mom wasn't even a thought anymore. The God of the universe LOVES ME!!!!

The next Christmas in 2012, I still had herpes, but this time it was different. I still hadn't told any members of my family, but shame and fear was starting to dwindle. That year I had HOPE. I had TRUTH. I had LOVE. Having these things in Christ changed EVERYTHING. My body was still sick, but my soul wasn't anymore. Through Jesus I had actual joy that one day I could be healed and he loves me even while I'm sick. God's love ran through me and I just wanted to share it with my family. That was the first year I wasn't thinking about everything wrong with my life or what presents I was going to get, I just wanted to cherish the family I had and share the love of God with them. I didn't spend my break prioritizing my friends over my family, I put my family first for the first time ever. I went to church out my own will and I just wanted to glorify God for saving me!

I don't know what your situation is whether you've just been diagnosed, or you've had herpes for one year or many years, but I truly pray that through Jesus Christ this Christmas can be different for you. I pray against your health robbing you of your LIFE. Place your health and body in the hands of Jesus and allow the Holy Spirit to open your eyes to how He wants to use you with your family this year. If you haven't repented and asked Jesus to forgive you of your sins, do so even now and watch the Lord over take you with His love and HOPE. Don't let herpes block you from being used by God this holiday season. Jesus Loves YOU!

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,


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  1. My faith in God for His healing, peace, and joy, has increased from your prayer letters, thank you so much <3.

    1. Wow, praise God!! I'm glad that Hope Letters are helping you grow in God! Jesus is amazing!