I Feel My Hope Comin'

 Dear Beloved,

This week someone close to me experienced some serious tragedy. It was bad. The reality of her grief and pain caused me grief and pain. First, I was in shock and trying to be as present as I could be with her. Then hours later, when we held a prayer call for her, the tears of grief hit me. When I got off the call, all I wanted to do was call someone and cry and process. So I did. (This is huge for me because my past self would've suppressed and isolated, praise God for emotional healing). 

                                

Beloved, please know that hope is not the absence of sadness. It is the pillar and foundation of endurance. To finish the race of life, one must have hope. To make it to heaven, one must have hope in Jesus Christ. I pray you both. I still have sadness today, but I have more hope, then I did yesterday. After I got off the phone with no else to call, though I wish I had others, I felt Holy Spirit say, "talk to me". I started singing a worship song and then another. Then I went to the Book of Psalms, the book that validates pain and emotion. 

I started off in Psalm 6, then to Psalm 42, then Psalm 145-150. By the end, I felt my hope comin. The circumstance hadn't changed, but I was reminded that God hadn't either. His works of old were good and so were the ones of TODAY. I once read a quote in the book The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom that said "Heaven never panics". I was reminded of that yesterday. It wasn't to dismiss the horrific situation, but a reminder that God is still in control in the midst of what feels chaotic. 

If you're in the midst of tragedy as well, I pray you feel your feelings while drawing to Christ for hope. When everything is out of your control, drawing near to the one who has control gives you the hope needed to endure another day. Although these trials freaking suck and are massively painful, they do not last forever. In eternity pain will be a distant memory and every tear will be wiped away. If you've surrendered your life to Christ, this will be your future. If you haven't, know that the Lord has been pursuing you for a long time and He's using THIS HOPE LETTER to speak to you. No matter when you read this, HE IS CALLING YOU. I haven't written a Hope Letter in 2 years, but He strongly urged me to write this one. 

There is ONE God who created all the universe. He is the great I AM. His intention was for all his creation to be one with Him, in glory separate from pain and angst. He gave mankind full authority in the earth and free access to everything, except one thing: the tree of knowledge of good and evil. But through man's (Adam's) sin of pride, greed, and lust, the ONE commandment  given (stay away from the tree) was broken and in that moment God's relationship was broken between mankind. You and me were born in sin. We know we've sinned. We've gone against what we've known to be right and that has caused a void in our hearts that can't be filled by relationships, money, power, or fame. ONLY God, the one true God who created us can fill it. It's impossible for us to be holy on our own, our lust for self and sin won't ever allow us to do right by heaven. With this, God decided to stand in for our weakness. He being perfect and sinless cannot be connected to sin, which we're covered in. But, The Father WANTS to reconnect with us. 

We're His creation, He doesn't want to spend eternity separated from us when we die. So, He made a way. In His divine love, He came down from heaven through His son Jesus Christ and took the punishment of sin that we deserved. Our sin deserves God's wrath and separation from Him, but Christ took the wrath and separation for us through the crucifixion. He died and was buried in the grave and 3 days later he rose again, proving his deity! The blood he shed on that cross was the price paid for salvation and forgiveness of sin. You don't have to carry the guilt and shame of your sin. You don't have to live with the void in your heart. God made a way for you to reconnect, receive forgiveness and have your slate wiped clean! This is the Gospel and good news of Christ. If you truly believe that Jesus Christ is God and he died and rose again for your sins, then recite the prayer below OUTLOUD and you will be saved!

Lord Jesus, I believe you died and rose again for my sins and I ask you for forgiveness. I repent of all sin and ask you to renew my mind and clean my heart. I give you full control of my life. Please show me how to walk in righteousness, in Jesus name I pray Amen.  

Praise the Lord my new brother/sister in Christ!! Now go and watch this video to learn what's next! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZzZ-m8C9hsA&list=PLmtSnLV8O89pDosLdVKT234erqFjJJNx-

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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When The World Rejects You, Jesus Accepts You

 Dear Beloved,

When the world rejects you, Jesus accepts you. This is a profound, yet hard truth to settle in. This week I found myself having to be reminded of this truth and learning how to anchor myself in it. It's one thing to know Jesus accepts me, but it's a different thing to ANCHOR myself in that. 

When you're spending time with Jesus you may feel his acceptance from the crown of your head to the bottom of your toes. Or if your around other believers in your community and their love and acceptance toward you reminds you of God's, these instances support the truth that you know. However, when you go outside of these scenarios and experience rejection from others, THAT'S when being anchored in God's precious truth is vital. When you encounter these moments, what you know about God's acceptance seems to take a back seat to the rejection someone's giving you. Becoming anchored means God's truth becomes apart of the very ground you stand on, meaning you take with you wherever you go. It can never take a back seat because it's the very thing holding you up. 

It's more difficult for the enemy to penetrate our minds with arrows of rejection when we are shielded by our confidence in God's acceptance. Has there been a time you've shared your herpes status with someone and they rejected you? Or maybe you're holding back from sharing because you believe they'll reject you. Whichever the case, I pray the Lord will help you to realize HIS acceptance is the only one that matters at the end of the day. God not only accepts you, but He desires you, He pursued you on the cross, and even after you entered into a relationship with Him, He still pursues. Beloved, you are constantly on the Lord's mind and your name is engraved in His hand (Isaiah 49:16). I pray God's acceptance will be a truth to your mind and an anchor to your feet when you go into the world. Grow in the confidence of God's desire for you. 

May we both mature to the place where we are completely confident and consumed in God's acceptance and untouched by enemy using people to plant seeds of rejection in our minds. 

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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When Hope Is Drifting

 Dear Beloved,

You can't , but God CAN. 

Sometimes hope starts to diminish when we place more focus on our weakness, than God's strength. When life comes hard and exposes how feeble we are, hopelessness tends to come right after. We look at the mounting problems in our lives and hear the enemy's voice reminding us that we don't have the power to fix any of our problems. Beloved, God wants you to know YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THE POWER BECAUSE HE DOES. 

I've been reading a book that has been so timely for me in this season, it's called Sensible Shoes by Sharon Garlough Brown. It's an amazing book that follows the spiritual journeys of four different women that are in very different places in their relationships with God. One of the character's name is Meg. Meg is severely bound by fear and anxiety. She has no confidence in herself and isn't even sure if she's worth God's love. Meg starts attending a weekend retreat class to grow her faith. During a conversation with the teacher, she shared some of her fears and started naming all the things she couldn't do. Her teacher, Katherine, responded with the word below: 

"When Jesus spoke about the poor in spirit (Matthew 5:3) he was talking about people who were totally helpless and entirely dependent upon God to supply all their needs. That kind of weakness is a place of blessing, Meg. It's a GIFT to be able to say, 'I can't, but God can!'..Actually, that's one of my favorite prayers. I'll inhale saying the words 'I can't' and exhale saying the words 'You can, Lord' over and over again throughout the day. Those simple words help me keep going in hope and faith when the way gets hard." 

(Sensible Shoes, p. 64) 

In the excerpt above we see two things happening. The first is that it's OKAY to acknowledge that YOU CAN'T. The enemy is notorious for speaking facts, but not the whole truth, that's how he disguises himself in our own voice. The devil will keep telling you how weak you are or unable to solve the problem you're facing, this is a fact, but he torments you when he doesn't tell you the whole truth: GOD CAN. It's not wrong to be weak. It's not wrong to not have the answers for your troubles. We are feeble humans that were never designed to be strong, but completely reliant on an all powerful God. We even see this in scripture where David writes:

Who do I have in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever.

(Psalm 73:24-25) 

Our weakness or inability is no surprise to God. I encourage you to overcome the enemy by praying the WHOLE TRUTH beloved. You may not have the physical, emotional, spiritual, financial ability to solve your life's problems, but GOD DOES. God is strength, healer, provider, restorer, and redeemer. Take back your hope by letting the enemy know your awareness of your weakness AND your awareness of God's strength. You can do that with the simple prayer detailed above: Inhale "I can't", exhale "You can, Lord". That's the second observation in the Sensible Shoes excerpt , the most powerful prayer can be said in the least of words. You don't have to pray a whole bible chapter to use the sword of the Spirit God has given you, all you need is the WHOLE TRUTH. Pray this simple, whole truth over and over throughout your day and I'm confident you will increase in hope. 

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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If You're Tired, God Is Coming

 Dear Beloved,

Am I alone in saying this year has left me tired? It just seems like one event after another whether in our nation or the world. The year of 2020 has presented many opportunities for hope to be hijacked or stolen. In spite of all the attempts, I praise God that He brings comfort through His word. I was reading Isaiah 35 and the Lord understood exactly how I was feeling. If you're tired, He understands how you feel too. 

Isaiah was a prophet in the Old Testament of the Bible and the book he wrote is FILLED with prophetic words from God. The bulk of the prophecy speaks about judgement and punishment to come on the nation of Israel. Israel gave into worshiping false gods and idols, there was no care for the orphans or the widows, they sought help from kings who worshiped false gods, than from the God who saved them from trouble so many times before, and a multitude of other sins. God pleaded with them in Isaiah 1 saying: 

Wash yourselves and be clean! Get your sins out of my sight. Give up your evil ways. Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of the orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. Come now, let's settle this, says the Lord. Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool. If only you obey me, you will have plenty to eat.  But if you turn away and refuse to listen, you will be devoured by the sword of your enemies. (Isaiah 1:16-20)  

Many people skim the Old Testament and only point out the judgement hand of God, but they don't take the time to READ all the pleading God did with His people. He warned, begged, and cried for them to repent and turn back to Him. God so desperately desired for His creation to live righteously in the love He designed for them to live in (just like He does with us today). However, as we read through Isaiah we see the Lords requests were brutally ignored and the rampage of sin and evil continued (Isaiah 9:9-13). God is HOLY and RIGHTEOUS and cares more about the eternity of our souls than our comfort. If that means sending judgement and affliction to interrupt the deadly patterns of sin, so that humility and repentance will evolve, then that's what He'll do. In the book of Isaiah, that's what we see happening. 

However, in the midst of all the gloomy punishment that was to come, God still sent promises of hope. Israel was in no way deserving of these promises, but that was the grace of God. He would allow their enemies to win in war against them, but only TEMPORARILY. There will be a time where God will step in and cut off the hand of the enemy and devour him! In Isaiah 35 God gives a whole promise of restoration to the nation of Israel. 

Yes there will be an abundance of flowers and singing and joy! The deserts will become as green as the mountains of Lebanon, as lovely as Mount Carmel or the plain of Sharon. There the Lord will display his glory, the splendor of our God. With this news strengthen those who have tired hands, and encourage those who have weak knees. Say to those with fearful hearts "Be strong and do not fear for your God is coming to destroy your enemies. HE IS COMING TO SAVE YOU. 

Some say 2020 has been a judgement of God in response to America's sin, some say it's all attacks from the devil. I don't know for sure what it is, could be a mix of both, but what I do know is God see we are TIRED and WEAK just like those in Israel. In response Israel, He gave a promise that He will restore and to not fear because He WILL destroy the enemy and He IS coming to save. This promise applies TODAY. too! This brought my heart gladness beloved! God's word is living! Whether it's the national health crisis, racial injustice, spiritual hardship, financial trouble, physical illness, God says HE'S COMING TO SAVE. I don't know what may be making you tired in this season, but I pray you grab hold to the hope of God that says He sees your tiredness and He's coming, beloved, He's coming. 

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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I'm Trying To Hope, But I Can't

Dear Beloved,

God's grace doesn't just exist to give us blessings and promises. Similar to mankind, God's grace has a purpose and an assignment to fulfill in the earth. God uses His grace to teach us. By God's grace we are healed, saved from sin, delivered from bad situations, but also by God's grace we have space to press toward high prize of Christ Jesus. In that space we will make mistakes, but by grace we get forgiveness that allows us to get back up and continue pressing toward the prize of Christ. God uses His grace to help us learn from our mistakes and bring us deeper in our walk with Him. God's grace is what grooms our hearts to look for the BLESSED HOPE. God's blessed hope is the highest hope and serves as the foundation for all other hope. It's very difficult to have hope in the daily things of life, when there's no hope for the eternal life to come.  

This week I was reading Titus 2 in the Bible and the Lord wrote about that blessed hope, but before He speaks about that hope, He explains the role of His grace:

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men (people). 

Teaching us to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts, that we should live 

soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world.

(Titus 2:11-12) 

As we see in the first line of the scripture above, God's grace certainly comes to save. God's grace brings salvation to the soul and to life situations. God can save us spiritually from hell and naturally from sickness, attacks on our life, financial hardship, and stressful situations, but that's not all God's grace does. God doesn't just want to save us and leave us the same person, but He wants to save us AND transform us into vessels of light that will glorify Him. He wants to bring us from created image bearers of God to adopted sons and daughters. This means we're not just made in the image of God, but we walk, talk, love, and surrender the very way Jesus did when he walked the earth. God wants to bring us from the noun version of image bearer to the adjective, the DOER, of intentionally living as an image bearer of God. To do this God uses His grace (which encompasses His patience and forgiveness toward us) to teach us how to deny ungodliness (anything that doesn't glorify the character of God) and worldly lusts (sinful desires). 

Before coming to Christ, the enemy has us all in a drunkeness. Our vision is foggy and our stupor says that our sin is better than God, God limited in His power, and He'll fail us just like people have. This is the cloudy, hopeless mindset sin creates. How can a person truly have hope if their mind hasn't been renewed and cleaned of these falsehoods? God uses His grace as the ultimate cleanser. As the scripture says, grace teaches us to live soberly (with a clear mind), righteously (doing what is right before God, not what's right to ourselves), and godly (doing things that glorify the character of God). If you have been trying to use your old mind to hope in God for new things and you keep finding it difficult to hope, this is a major reason why. 

Back when I used to drink alcohol, my body would become extremely dehydrated (because that's what liquor does), but in my drunkeness my mind couldn't focus to get my body the water it needed. My brain felt like jello and it did what my emotions wanted, rather than what my body needed. Similar to the spirit realm, our souls NEED hope in order to endure. However, when our spirits are drunk with the sin of ungodliness and worldly lust, our minds are cloudy and unable to focus on the truth of God that can give us the hope our souls so desperately need.   

As God's grace teaches us to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts and we take heed to the lessons, then our minds are renewed and sober to hope in what God calls that blessed hope:

Looking for that blessed hope and the glorious appearing of the great God and 

our Saviour Jesus Christ. Who gave himself for us that he might

redeem us from all iniquity and purify unto himself a peculiar (set apart) 

people, zealous of good works.  

(Titus 2:13-14)

That BLESSED HOPE is the return of Jesus Christ to establish his kingdom and rid the earth of all evil and unite eternally with His adopted sons and daughters. Those that are justified by His grace (take heed to the teachings of God's grace) will be heirs according to the hope of eternal life (Titus 3:7). That blessed hope, the greatest hope is God's promise for eternity. When a person has hope for the eternal future, according to God's word, that creates an even greater capacity to hope in God for the present day. 

Have you been using a drunk mind to believe and hope in God for the impossible? There's a disconnect because your mind isn't clear, you aren't living soberly, righteously, and godly and it's hindering the height of your hope. If the enemy has a hold on your life, he will have a hold on your hope. Grab a hold of God's grace (His patience and forgiveness) and begin listening to the lessons God is giving when it comes to denying ungodliness and worldly lusts. The first step in grabbing hold of God's grace is repenting and apologizing to God for the sins you've committed. Through grace, He will forgive you. Next is to start reading the Bible, start with the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John), read how Jesus denied ungodliness and worldly lusts and pray for the Holy Spirit's help  to do what Jesus did. Then, look up scriptures that speak about the sins you've repented for and read them daily to learn the lesson God's grace is teaching you through His word. Seek out and talk to other Christians, express you desire to deny ungodliness and worldly lusts and ask for their guidance and help. Lastly, institute boundaries. Take note of where you're weak when it comes to ungodly things or worldly lusts and put boundaries in place to prevent those weaknesses from being triggered. 

Purification is a life long process, but once you allow God's grace to begin the work in you, your spirit will become clearer and sober and your spiritual eyes will be able to look for that blessed hope of Christ. Then through the blessed hope, all other hope will come.

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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Voices Hijacking Your Hope

Dear Beloved,

God will met you right where you are. You're not too far gone. The Lord isn't over you. Sometimes it can feel like you're so out of reach, or even if God could reach you ,why would He want to. Sometimes it can be hard to talk to people because they can't relate to what you're going through. But I thank the Lord Jesus Christ, THAT HE GETS IT. No one knows you more than your Creator. So, when you experience pain, the one who made every fiber of your being is feeling it right along with you. 

I was watching an interview this week and this couple was asked: What's the hardest thing about being a parent? The wife responded, "Seeing your child hurt or struggle as they grow older and there's nothing you can do about it". I don't believe that response is unique to her, in fact I've heard my own mother say similar things. If imperfect, sinful humans hurt when their children hurt, how much more would the perfect, holy God who actually created all of us in heaven? One of the places we see Jesus hurting with his creation is in John 11:35 where the verse simply says, Jesus wept. This occurred when his friend Lazarus passed away and Lazarus' sisters along with the village were deeply saddened and in mourning. Jesus related to their pain and cried with them (though he knew he was going to raise Lazarus from the dead, he still hurt as they hurt from the loss). 

The beautiful thing about God is that, unlike us humans that are unable to do anything about the pain of our children, God can feel what we're going through AND do something about it. One of the greatest things God does is MEET US WHERE WE ARE. We see this in John 8:1-11 when Mary Magdalene was brought to the town square to be humiliated concerning her sin of adultery with a married man. Jesus could've waived his finger at her and pointed out her sin like everyone else, but instead he knelt down to the ground and wrote something in the dirt. She felt low in spirit, so he went lower in physical position. Instead of scolding Mary and calling out her faults, Jesus address her accusers. He called out the voices that were shouting "Die, adulterer!", he silenced them and overcame them with the power of his word. When the accusers were gone, Jesus looked Mary in the eye and said "I don't condemn you, now go and sin no more". 

Jesus did something about the pain and shame Mary was in. He used the power of his word to shut down the voices of condemnation and then set her free through his forgiveness and love. Many times our hope can be hi-jacked because the voices are speaking condemnation and death over us. Whether it's the voices of other people or in our own heads, the enemy will use which means he can to get his words of death and depression into our minds. However, beloved, Mary is just one example of many in the Bible where people were counted out, overlooked, and thrown away, but GOD SAW THEM. God met them right where they were. God SAW ME and still does and meets me right where I am. Even in times where I'd be over me, God says nope, "I'm coming to your level and I'm meeting you RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE". You are no exception. May you use this story and scripture in John 8:1-11 to shutdown the voices the devil is using to hijack your hope in this season and know that God is not condemning you, but He's coming down to your level and to your situation ready to love you and free you through forgiveness. 

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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The Truth Will Set You Free

Dear Beloved,

I greet you in the mighty name of Jesus Christ! I give praise to the Lord by reciting Isaiah 25:1, O Lord, you are my God, I will exalt thee, I will praise your name; for you have done wonderful things; thy counsels of old are FAITHFULNESS and TRUTH. In other words, from day one, the two characteristics God will ALWAYS exemplify are His faithfulness and His truth. God is always faithful to His truth. Hallelujah! I pray this Hope Letter can be a form of encouragement to you today as we break down a piece of God's truth that He's been faithful in. 

It's dangerous to the enemy's plan when we know God's truth. Why? Simple, God's word says in John 8:32 You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you FREE. The last thing the devil wants for any human being is for them to spiritually free. Once a person is spiritually free in Christ, meaning they have been forgiven of all sin and are no longer bound by the control of the enemy through sin, he loses! The enemy loses the grip he had on their soul, the dark fate of their eternity separated from God's love, and the control he had over their mind, which guides their will, emotions, and decisions. The moment Christ becomes king in a person's life, the enemy's power is GONE. This is why the enemy works hard to place obstacles in our way when it comes to fully surrendering to Christ, because the moment we do, it's over for him!

The more truth we have about God, the more freedom we have access to. Today, God highlighted His truth to me ever so brightly in Isaiah 25:4:

For you have been strength to the poor, strength to the needy in his distress,

a refuge from the storm, a shadow from the heat. For the oppressive acts

of ruthless people are like a storm beating against the wall. 

Wherever you are right now, whatever you're going through, God wants you to know His precious and POWERFUL truth. He wants you to know this truth, so you can be FREE. Spiritual freedom doesn't mean circumstances will change overnight, but it does mean torment of the enemy in your mind must cease. In the scripture above, God becomes everything we aren't and provides everything we need. When we're in financial hardship and/or overwhelmed with stress God is STRENGTH. When the rain of life is beating us down, God is REFUGE (or hiding place/shelter). When the pressure of life feels like a fiery heat about to scorch us, God is SHADOW to protect us from getting burned. God isn't just one thing, but multiple things at the same time! God will never run short of strength, refuge, or shadow that He can't provide any for you. He is God and all of His saving qualities are endless. 

Revel in God's truth beloved. Declare God's truth over your life. Find hope in God's truth, and BE SET FREE in God's truth! 

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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The Battle Is The Lord's!

Dear Beloved, 

 I was speaking with a sister recently who's up against a big battle in this season. As we spoke, she said she could sense an familiar overwhelming feeling mixed with anxiety trying to overtake her when she thought of the battle, but then she said "I have to remember, the battle is Lord's." There are many times when I go through things in life and I forget that simple, yet profound truth. This fact comes from a variety of places in the Bible, but the greatest one in my mind is when David says it to Goliath. 

In 1 Samuel 17, David who's the smallest and youngest among the troops of Israel stands up against the Philistine giant, Goliath, who could eat David for breakfast. However, it wasn't David's faith in HIMSELF that made him believe he could defeat Goliath, but in God. We see this when he says in 1 Samuel 17:47 Everyone gathered shall see that the Lord doesn't save by sword and spear: for the battle is the Lord's and he will give you into our hands. The battle before David wasn't favorable toward him at all. There were so many ways he could lose and be destroyed or be stricken by fear and give up. Those would be the possible outcomes if he kept his eyes on Goliath, but David chose to place his eyes on God and place the battle in HIS hands. 

 If you're tired and worn out, it's probably because you haven't been allowing God to fight for you. You're trying as hard as you can to fight this battle, but really anxiety, fear, worry, and discouragement are whipping your tail in the ring. God says THE BATTLE IS HIS. Stop trying to move God's hand this way or that way. Stop trying to find the loop hole or easy pass out of the battle. The spiritual Goliath is wearing you out and his minions, fear, worry, discouragement are stealing your hope. The song You Know My Name by Tasha Cobb really ministered to me today and the lyrics below really stuck out. I know what it's like to try to fight Goliath on your own, but it's time to give it to the real warrior, our Father in heaven. 

 No fire can burn me 

No battle can turn me

 No mountain can stop me 

'Cause You hold my hand 

And I'm walking in Your victory 

'Cause Your power is within me

 No giant can defeat me 

'Cause You hold my hand 

 May your hope be in Jesus Christ, 

 Anreka 

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Does God's Love Cost?

Dear Beloved,

God's love is ABSOLUTELY FREE. 

How do I know this? He says it in His word: I will heal their backsliding and love them FREELY for my anger is turned away (Hosea 14:4). It's not a hoax. God's love is absolutely free and any teaching that tells you otherwise is full of lies. Whether it's lies we've heard from other people, other religions, or the enemy speaking to our own minds, many of us hold the assumption that God's love costs something. Some may say in order to access God's love you have to accept Christ, well technically not really because the Hosea verse above was written long before the birth and sacrifice of Christ. God said He will love the children of Israel FREELY before they could ever accept Christ. It's actually BECAUSE of God's love that Christ came in the first place, as we read in John 3:16 For God so LOVED THE WORLD that He sent His only begotten son, and whosoever shall believe in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life. It was God's FREE love that sent His son to be sacrificed for our sins. It's the reality of our sin that makes us feel like we owe God. We feel our sin has created a long tab with God and in order to really receive His love, we have to pay off the tab. False. 

God's love isn't a "thing" to posses, it's God's VERY BEING. That's why it's free, it's WHO HE IS. 1 John 4:16 says And we have known and believed the love that God has toward us. God IS love.. We can look at the sun as an analogy. The sun doesn't just give light, it IS light and because it is light it gives light. Similarly, because God IS love, therefore He gives love and gives it freely to all mankind. I didn't understand this when I was diagnosed with herpes in 2011. I believed I had to work for God's love and that I had to pay off that tab before I could REALLY experience His love. Although I lived a life of sin, I felt like I wasn't as "bad as other people".  I thought I may not have God's love, but I'm at least in His "good graces". I believed I was in "good graces" because I worked to stay away from the "extreme sins". With this belief system, it was easy for the devil to lie to me and tell me I was cut off from God when I contracted herpes. I believed God's love was dependent upon me, so when I contracted herpes, I believed I lost the "good graces" and I had no chance at His love. ALL LIES!

As we see in God's word, HE LOVES FREELY and these words were written LONG before any of us were born. Just as the sun won't stop shining based on what we do, God's love won't stop because it's who HE IS. Wherever you are in life, if you believe God's love costs you, I'd like to denounce that false belief right now. You can't pay for the character of God. Even if God's love did have a price, it'd be one that no human being could ever afford. 

God's love is completely free, however experiencing a full relationship with God in this earth and in eternity after we die does cost. To be in relationship with God is to become ONE with Him. God is love because God is HOLY. That's what make His love so special and out of this world, it's actually perfect through His holy character that has never been tainted. The bible says we are born into sin (Psalm 51:5). This means every human being on the earth is a sinner from birth, our sins make look different, but we ALL have sinned. This sin is a violation of holiness, perfect goodness. In order for God to become one with us in relationship, we too must be holy so we don't violate God's perfect holiness. There's a cost to becoming holy, but guess what? Because of God's FREE love, He paid that cost for us!! That's why He sent Jesus to die on the cross. God wanted a relationship with us more than we did with Him. He wanted one so bad, that rather than placing the responsibility on us to pay the cost of holiness and attempting to rid ourselves of sin, He came from heaven in the form of Jesus and paid the cost for us! Every payment of our sin, every penny that you could ever owe God was paid through the sacrifice of Jesus Christ! Hallelujah! God's free love means anyone can enter a relationship with Him once they accept the payment Jesus did on their behalf.   

Beloved, you are not cut off from God's love. God will always continue to be who He is to you. If you desire to enter that glorious relationship with Lord and ensure your soul will spend eternity with Him all you have to do to ask for forgiveness of your sin. No, not every single individual sin you've ever committed since you were born. God is so gracious, if we just ask Him to forgive us of ALL our sin, one time, His word says HE WILL FORGIVE US (1 John 1:9). Once you receive that forgiveness, that indebted feeling you had will go away because Jesus paid the entire price for your sin. You and God will be one through Jesus Christ and your life will never be the same. I know this because that's what the Lord did for me January 2, 2012. God's love is free my dear. He loved you yesterday, He loves you today, and He'll love you tomorrow. 

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka 

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The Devil Attacks Because He's After Your Future

Dear Beloved,

When the enemy attacks, he's not after the thing he's attacking in our life, he after the table God has before us. Psalm 23:5 says God will prepare a table before you in the presence of your enemies; God will anoint your head with oil until your cup runs over. A prepared table is a symbol of honor and provision. God has a plan to use you to His glory, honor you, and provide and He wants the enemy to see it all. That table will mock the enemy who's been mocking you. It will shame the one that's been shaming you. The devil will have to watch as you are anointed, as God seals you and call you HIS OWN. This is the last thing the devil wants, so he attacks. 

In 2011, the devil saw how bound I was living for him already. God tried to separate me from the guy I contracted herpes from BEFORE I contracted (didn't know he had it the whole time). Things shifted in the relationship and it seemed like it was over. If I followed God's leading and left the guy alone, who knows what would've came next for me. Would I have given my life to Jesus that year? Would I have started a life changing relationship with the Lord? I don't know, but the moment I had the opportunity to be with the guy again I took it and contracted herpes. God wanted to save me, He wanted to free me. There was a table God had and the devil wanted to block me from it. Satan struck me with spirit of herpes to make my body ill, but the greater reason was to block me from God. Right after I received the diagnosis, I started to blame God and say He's punishing me as most people do. Then I stopped talking to God because I believed He wanted nothing to do with me. That what the devil wanted. He wanted me isolated and depressed. He wanted me to give up. He wanted me no where near that table God had for me in His presence. But look at the irony of God. The VERY THING satan used to deter me from God, is the thing God used to save me! The devil mocked me with the spirit of herpes. He sent that demon to shame and depress me. Yet God turned it around and used the enemy's weapon against him as I clicked on that woman's herpes healing testimony January 2, 2012. For the first time I was introduced to the love of Christ and God anointed me at his table! 

The devil's strategy never changes. Even as believer now, he's STILL after the future table God wants to set up in my life. In every season, there's a table God's trying to get us to in the next season. There's something God wants you to do, someone He wants you to reach, something He wants to free you from, but if the devil can attack your body, mind, family, circumstances to discourage you from getting there, he will. I encourage you to read Psalm 23:4-6. The valley in verse 4 is symbolic of all the attacks that are trying to kill you and take you out. But, RIGHT AFTER the valley, there's the TABLE God has prepared for you. God is waiting for you at that table in your next season. LEAN on His rod and staff of comfort and realize what the enemy's doing. Stand up in the word of God and declare Psalms 23:4-6 over your life. God IS preparing a table before your enemies, you WILL be anointed, and goodness and mercy SHALL follow you, in Jesus name!

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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Restoration of Hope

Dear Beloved,

Has your hope taken a hit? Maybe you don't feel completely hopeless, but you sense in your heart there are some areas where you're wondering: can God really do this? If so, you're not alone. The past month has been extremely hard for me. There was a lot of heaviness and sadness and it wasn't until last night that I realized part of my sadness was because my hope had taken a hit in a few areas. I still believe God to be God, but in my subconscious, I've been thinking can He really move over these things or are they just what they are? 

I found myself thinking about the generations of black slaves in America. If there was any group of people that knew about great trials and tribulations it was them. I said, "God, HOW did they hope? HOW did they keep going?" For the first generation of slaves, the end of slavery would be hundreds of years away, yet they still had a desire to marry and have children, and even smile once those children were born. How can a people still desire these things, when it seems like life would never get better? Everything was dark around them, yet they continued to bring life to: children, traditions, teachings, and so much more. 

A day or two after asking God this question, I came across a tweet by Jackie Hill Perry that said: 

"Negro spirituals are the perfect soundtrack for our times.

They, unlike the hymns written by white Christians, had lyrics born out

of deep suffering.To sing as they did was to put their pain into song while

reminding each other of a man named Jesus who would soon take them home."

There was God's answer to me: They worshiped. So, then I went to look up these spiritual songs, which I've only heard in passing. In my search, I found a song called Go Down Moses, where the lyrics speak to the children of Israel being enslaved in Egypt and Moses telling Pharaoh to let the people go. We see this account in the Bible. So, in singing this song, the black people that were enslaved, reflected on how God used Moses to free the children of Israel from their slavery. They found hope in what God did before and believed He could do it again. I found another song called Hold On, that speaks to holding onto the plow (a farming tool). This is a reference to a scripture in the Bible where Jesus tells us no one who holds the plow and keeps looking back is fit for the kingdom of God. Essentially, looking back is representative of taking your hand off the plow. The plow represents the mission in life God has for us. The black Americans that were enslaved remembered to hold on and that God still had purpose for them and we see it in the generations they birthed, the traditions they passed down, the teachings of hope, and the wealth of songs rooted in God's word. 

Each week I write to you testifying about God's hope through His word, but it seems in the past month I was thinking maybe there was something else that helped these mighty people in history. I was blessed when I saw they found hope in the very thing that's been giving me hope since I got saved in 2012. After this, I went to the Bible in 1 Thessalonians 5:8, which says, But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation. Salvation means to save, even deeper God saves. My hope ought to be rooted in the fact that GOD SAVES. Not only can He save me from my sin (which is the greatest miracle of all), but He can save the other areas I was questioning from before. God Saves, period. 

This was refreshing to see that my hope comes from the basis of my salvation. If God can save me, He can save or redeem anything. Now that I'm reminded of that, I have to deal with the areas of hope in me that took a hit. Hope isn't something I can go to the store and buy, but it belongs to God and is a gift from God. With that, I need God to restore my hope in the areas it's taken a hit, that means prayer. So last night I started to do that, I named the areas God revealed to me where my hope weakened and I began praying for Him to restore. I encourage you to do the same. If your hope has taken a hit, pray for God to replace the hope that was lost. It doesn't mean you're evil or you've lost your faith. Sometimes in life we take a hit, or a couple of hits and God is there waiting for our prayer of restoration. The Lord is with you beloved and He can restore our hope. 

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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God Promises Safety

Dear Beloved,

I don't know where your mind is right now, but God keeps placing this Bible chapter on my heart, Isaiah 11. In the midst of any mental, emotional, or spiritual turmoil you may be experiencing, God uses this chapter to paint one of the most beautiful pictures of safety I've ever read. For me in this hour, there is a great well of hope I can draw from God's promise of safety. Life can be hard with the enemy consistently threatening our safety. Whether it be the safety of our health, our hearts, our minds, or our lives all together. As long as there is God's light pursuing to love us, there is the darkness of the enemy seeking to drain us of hope and keep us blind. 

It's only by God's GRACE does He allow us to experience His light and opens our eyes to His great hope. Maybe you've had a heavy week with recent events in the news, dealing with your health, balancing life situations, wherever your heart is reading this letter, I pray God's grace over you. I pray the Lord will grace you to open your heart to His light and open your eyes to the hope in His word. Proverbs 18:10 says The name of the Lord is a strong tower and the righteous run into it and are safe. I pray through the grace of God, that His very name and His word which is greater than His name will be a place of refuge for you as you read and safety will be your portion. 

In Isaiah 11 God explains what it will be like when Jesus returns to the earth: 

In that day the wolf and the lamb will live together; the leopard and the goat 

will be at peace. Calves and sheep will be safe among lions, and a little child 

will lead them all...Babies will crawl safely among poisonous snakes.

Yeas, a little child will put its hand in a nest of deadly snakes

an pull it out unharmed. Nothing will hurt or destroy

in all my holy mountain. And as the waters fill the sea, 

so the earth will be filled with people who know the Lord.

(Isaiah 11:6-9)

When God says NOTHING will hurt or destroy, He means NOTHING. No disease, no wickedness of me, nor devil in hell can cause hurt or destruction to those who will be in Christ Jesus. This is the future that God promises His people. Pain will be eradicated from the earth when Christ returns and ALL things will be healed. Nothing can bring harm, not even animals. God promises an eternal peace and an eternal hope in the safety of His power and His plan. Turmoil may be all around you now beloved, but remember this life is temporary. Hold true to what is eternal. Enter the safety of God's presence TODAY by filling your mind with worship music and thanking God for the eternal peace to come. God is not a man that He should lie. Thank you Lord for your truth and thank you for your safety. We place our hearts, minds, and bodies in your hands, in Jesus name, amen. 

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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Hanging On By A Thread

Dear Beloved,

Are you hanging on by a thread? This year has been a roller coaster to say the least. There's people passing away, illness, relationships being challenged, stress on all sides, and the list goes on. Maybe you had high hopes for this year and then BAM, 2020 had other plans. I'm honestly at the point where I'm tired of hearing news. Whether it's the world news about covid or news in my personal life that's bringing shock. I just need a 6 month break from hearing any new information about anything! Well, except good things (naturally, lol). Am I the only one?

Well, taking a few steps back from my temper tantrum, today I thought about joy. I thought about how similar joy is to the sun. When you have it, it's always there. With the sun, as long as the earth is in rotation, it will always be there. However, some days we can't see the sun and may not even feel it because the clouds are covering it up. I feel that's how joy is. When God gives us this precious gift, sometimes it's shining bright to the point that others can see and feel it, but other times it's more behind the scenes and we can't really detect it's presence. The latter can happen when unexpected circumstances and life twists overtake the forecast of our lives. It feels cold and rainy, and may even look darker, but similar to the sun, God's joy is STILL there. The sun never goes away and neither does His joy. Once you have it, it keeps you anchored through the clouds and when (not if) the sky clears, your joy will shine again. 

There was a time I was helping a friend of mine move. It was a warm, sunny day. We packed everything up from her first apartment into our cars, it was a lot of boxes and clothes on hangers. On the 30 minute drive to her new place, the clouds came out of no where. It started to rain lightly, then it started to DOWN POUR! As I drove, all I thought was: how is this going to work?! Today is her last day in the old apartment. It's thundering and pouring. And we're going to be soaked, not to mention all of her things if we attempt to unload these cars. I had no idea what the outcome was going to be, but I continued to drive behind her to the new place. I KID YOU NOT. When we were five minutes away, the rain literally cleared and stopped! Not only that, but the sun came out shining like nothing even happened! That was a huge spiritual lesson for me. When we saw the weather take an unexpected turn with no hope in sight, we would've had every reason to turn around and quit the mission. However, my friend kept driving and I followed. If we had quit or gave up, we would've never seen how God was going to clear sky for us on the other side and meet us with the sun. Through the rain, the sun was behind the clouds the ENTIRE TIME. 

I pray through all of the clouds of 2020, you're encouraged to not give up, but to KEEP DRIVING. Rest in the fact that God's joy is your anchor behind the clouds and you WILL see and feel it shine again. If you don't have God's joy, you can receive it through a relationship with Jesus Christ. Your relationship starts when you ask Jesus to forgive you of your sin, then he will send you the Holy Spirit to dwell in your heart. The Holy Spirit will bring a number of gifts and one of them will be joy. I pray today that the joy of Christ which is ever present, even behind the clouds, will increase your hope. 

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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Feeling Like "Damaged Goods"?

Dear Beloved,

I remember feeling like "damaged goods" when the doctor told me I had herpes in February 2011. Immediately, I began feeling like I was good for nothing and no one would ever want me. The thoughts of feeling unwanted and unusable flooded my mind. Even when I got saved and learned God could heal me, I still had this feeling of I'm "dirty". The first time I really experienced breakthrough in this was when I was in church. We guest preacher speaking to us and she started ministering to us as God led her. In the midst of her talking, I heard her say YOU ARE NOT DAMAGED GOODS, GOD HAS NOT THROWN YOU AWAY! This lady didn't know me from a hole in the wall, nor did anyone in the church know my situation. I KNEW it was God speaking to me. The very words that I had been believing concerning my life, God said that's not true! I was standing in the aisle in the back of the church when she said it and I literally dropped to the ground and started crying. 

I was reminded of this when I read Isaiah 6 this week. Isaiah was a prophet of God in the Old Testament. To be prophet back then meant you had a VERY close relationship with God. You couldn't live a completely outrageous, rebellious life and hear God speak great words of instruction to the nations. So Isaiah had to be surrendered to God. Yet, even when a person is surrendered, that's not equal to perfect like God. There's still shortcomings and sin nature that's being fought everyday. When Isaiah got in the presence of God, all the ways he's fallen short became so apparent:

Woe is me for I am undone because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst

of people of unclean lips: for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of Hosts.

(Isaiah 6:5)

Isaiah, the prophet says out of his own mouth he's an unclean, sinful man. In the presence of God, he felt unworthy. I feel like he related to how I felt of being "damaged goods" and how you may feel as well. He said "Woe is him", which essentially means, he's damned. What hope is there for him? However, this was God's response:

Then on of the seraphims (angels) flew to me with a burning coal in his hand, which he had

taken with tongs off the altar. And he laid it upon my mouth and said, this has

touched your lips and your iniquity is taken away, and your sin is purged. 

(Isaiah 6:6-7)

God used His angel to cleanse Isaiah. Isaiah thought he was done for and there was no hope, yet God said you're worthy to me, your usable to me and I WILL MAKE YOU WHOLE. This is exactly what God did for me! When the world said I was damaged goods, God said not so! God doesn't make damaged goods. Just God saw that Isaiah was still worthy to him and He used His angel to cleanse him and take away his sin, God sent Jesus Christ on the cross and by his blood he cleanses our sin and shame today. The thought of being "damaged goods is a lie of the enemy. It's another mindset he uses to further breed hopelessness. But Jesus came that every soul that would call on him would be set FREE!. YOU ARE NOT DAMAGED GOODS! YOU ARE NOT UNUSABLE! You are God's precious creation and if you allow Him, like Isaiah did, He will meet you and cleanse you from every shame the devil has placed over you. I encourage you today beloved to pray God burns that lie out of your mind with His coal of fire and know that when the world may not choose you, God DOES. 

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

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God Hasn't Left You

 When the shock of life hits and it seems like darkness is flooding in all around, it can seem like God is no where in sight. Some people feel as if God doesn't care or that what they've done is so horrible that God has left them. I believed the latter when I was diagnosed with herpes in 2011. I had no truth to teach me or tell me otherwise. I believed God's love and attention came from being "good" and when I really, REALLY messed up then that was it, His presence in my life was cut off. That's kind of how people are. Everyone has a tolerance threshold and once that mark is passed, they say enough is enough and you're not worth my love any more. I took human behavior and applied it to God. That was my first wrong move. The Bible says in Numbers 23:19 God IS NOT A MAN, that should lie; he is NOT A HUMAN, that he should change his mind. I placed God into the box of how others have treated me and how I treated others. God makes it clear, He is not us or like us. He is God, higher and greater than any being we've encountered on this earth. His is ACTUAL goodness and because we know so much hurt, it's hard to believe actual goodness when we see it. Believe it or not, God hasn't left you.

Before contracting herpes I didn't live for God, but even though my life wasn't surrendered I still believed I could at least pray to Him when I needed Him most and believed He would hear me. There was some level of hope in believing I could at least talk to Him because He was there. However, after contracting herpes for the first time in my life I thought God left me. There was no way He wanted to be around me. That lie the enemy planted in my mind, left me in so much gloom. 

If this is where you are and what you're experiencing, I want to interrupt that lie right now! Long before you were born, God wrote words and promises to you in the Bible. As mentioned earlier, God is not like people, HE DOESN'T LIE, so we can trust that His words below are TRUE:

Isaiah 41:10 Fear not for I AM WITH YOU, be not dismayed, for I am you God

Joshua 1:5 ...As I was with Moses, I WILL BE WITH YOU: I will not fail you, nor forsake you

John 14:18 I will NOT LEAVE you comfortless: I will come to you

Hebrews 13:5 ..For He (God) says I will NEVER LEAVE you, no forsake you

These are just a FEW scriptures that highlight God's promise to not leave us. His presence is not measured by what He does (or doesn't do), but rather by WHO HE IS. And John 1:1 says that God IS HIS WORD. So if His word says He's with you and won't leave you, then that's who He is. I encourage you to stop comparing God to humans and how quickly they are to desert you. God IS NOT human, He KEEPS HIS WORD. Cling to this truth. Anytime you feel overwhelmed with thoughts of God leaving you, reference the scriptures above. Speak God's truth! Remember God is not a feeling or bound to our circumstances, His character is His word. Life might be going left, but I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU says the Lord. You might not feel Him, but I AM WITH YOU says the Lord. Rest in God's truth beloved. Rest in God's truth.

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka

TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS BELOW: Have you ever felt like God has left you? Which one of these scriptures resonate with you the most?

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Dealing With Heartbreak After Herpes

2010 was the year I went away to college. I was a transfer student and it was the first time I ever lived away from home. I lost my virginity the year before to my first boyfriend. I can honestly say I wasn't in love with him, but he was my first and therefore there was an attachment and a hurt I'd carry from the way things ended. My heart was so hardened after that relationship. It changed me in a lot of ways. Bitterness was my daily drink and anger was my main response toward men. Although, I despised them because of the hurt I had, I still felt incomplete without them and desperately desired to be desired. I was a month and half into my first semester when I met my next guy. Let's call him Tom.

Tom and his friends were students and visiting our campus from out of state, I met him the morning after a party. No, not as in we all went out to coffee the next day and I met him in Starbucks. The morning after as in, the party started at 11 pm Saturday night and then I went to the after party at someone's house, and after the after party at like 6 am, I met him. That was a regular night for me back then lol. Being hardened from my past relationship and coming to a new campus with tons of guys, I was honestly in a place of not caring about guys' feelings and doing me. Meaning, I wasn't trying to be in one relationship, I wanted to be free. I wanted boos and F-buddies and that was it. Learning that Tom was from out of state, I definitely wasn't trying to take him seriously (on top of the mindset I had), but he was cute and funny and I figured he'll just be my boo in that city. I figured I'm in college and road trips are a thing, so I can have campus boos and out of state boos. Whenever I go to that city, I'll have someone to connect with. That's ALL I thought of it as. However, I've since learned that communication is the way to the heart. Whoever you're communicating with consistently will most likely take space in your heart whether you intended for that to happen or not. And that's exactly what happened. My out of state boo that I planned to merely have on-call when I visit that city soon became my best friend and situationship/basically relationship boo lol. My heart was growing for him and I could really see myself marrying him one day.

It was to the point where Tom and I had gotten into disagreements and I was ACTUALLY apologizing to him, that WAS UNHEARD OF!! I never apologized to anyone, I was so prideful and felt like apologizing was "weak". However, I was learning to communicate because he was leading by example and apologized to me when he messed up. He paid for me to come see him and bought me a webcam so we could Skype. His attention to me made me feel like I was in a dream world. I didn't know this until 6 years later, long after the relationship lol, but I was falling in love with him. This meant I was starting to heal from my ex and actually trusting again. So you can imagine how distraught I was when I returned home from my last trip visiting him and the doctor told me I had contracted herpes. I saw the trust I placed him that just shattered before my eyes. I remember calling him up screaming and balling. I was hurt in so many ways that couldn't be identify in the moment. As I yelled and cried and cried and yelled, he sat there in silence. After getting off the phone with him, I wrote him an email with some harsh wording and told him I never wanted to speak to him again. I blocked him from all social platforms and deleted his number. He was the only one that knew this truth about me, but I cut him out my life, so now it was just me, by myself, in my brokenness.

My body was in a great deal of pain, but my heart hurt so much worse. Proverbs 18:14 says the spirit of man will sustain his infirmity, but a wounded spirit who can bear? Meaning, when the body is sick, our strong, upbeat spirits help us to hope and help our bodies to recover. However, if your spirit/heart, the place you draw hope from is sick, then who's able to bear or get through that? What medicine is there for broken hearts or spirits? How can any human being endure that? That's literally how I felt, like I couldn't endure. When a person gets to that place, the enemy will either continue to weigh the person down with thoughts of hopelessness until they surrender and take their life because they can't endure. Or satan will influence them to self-medicate in order to  numb the hopelessness. Which may enable temporary endurance, but ultimately destroys the person from the inside out. I took the second route. As I mentioned earlier, I was a wild partier, drinking was a regular part of my life. But partying and drinking took on a new meaning for me. Now, when I drank, I didn't want to feel. I wanted to escape my life and be anyone, BUT me. Not feeling the hurt, for even a few hours, was some sort of "relief" I was willing to receive.

Maybe you're feeling the heartbreak after herpes. I went through it and wouldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy. I wish I could take it away from you, but I can't. We live in a broken world, filled with hurt and pain. No one ever plans to get hurt. As much as we try to guard and protect ourselves, it can still happen. Beloved, I don't have any magic words or button to press to make it go away, but I do know that God is a healer. God may have healed my body in 2013, but He's STILL healing me from the trauma of my experience with Tom 9 years ago. It will take time, but know that if you bring your heart to Jesus he is able to nurse it back to health. It's okay to cry. Cry at his feet. Let him know it hurts, tell him it's hard, be real with YOUR God. Your honesty and transparency with God is what's going to aid in your own internal healing. When you tell him what hurts, that exhibits the faith he needs to now move to start the repair in that area. Again, it will take time, but IT IS POSSIBLE. Jesus loves you so much.

May your hope be in Jesus Christ,

Anreka


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